Sunday, 06 March 2011
So last night was fun. Went to go see the Vagina Monologues which I was actually happily surprised with (I thought it was gonna be a man-hating estrogen fest complete with a ritualistic burning of an effigy in the shape of a penis. Or maybe even a real penis, I don't know!) and hung out at a friends house for just a bit. Mixing some Sunny D and vodka, the first taste burned my throat so good, I was sipping on it till it was gone. I wasn't buzzed and I went home, called up my cousin and talked for a good two hours about everything.
By the time it was over, I felt a little nice nice and decided to just go to sleep before I did something I'd regret like go for a Denny's run at 2 in the morning (lol). I fell asleep and started dreaming. The strange thing was that I started dreaming as if the night went on.
I was at Denny's. Damn you, double bacon burger and you always hitting the spot.
But you were there as well. We were talking and eating and I just couldn't stop staring at you. Every bite you'd take, the way you'd laugh when I made a fool of myself. You'd close your eyes slightly and that smile would stretch your cheeks. We weren't alone by any means, but we might as well have been. I wanted to stay there forever. And I think you felt the same way.
How was I gonna play this? Should I just say what I feel and get it over with?
I stood up and decided it was time to get home. But for some reason, the alcohol from earlier hit me pretty hard. I couldn't really understand, I barely even drank and I was drunk. The room was shifting, nothing stood still anymore. Was this a sign? Am I being told to stay and enjoy your company some more? Did God just clock me in the head so I'd be unbalanced enough to need to sit back down?
I decided to sit down and began to hint at what I was feeling. I'm used to the hookups but never a real relationship that I'm really into, so maybe that's why I was acting like a girl and getting all excited that I wanted so badly to just go home and write in my diary (Hello, btw Xanga :]).
Usually, when I dream, I realize it is so when things go so well and continue to stay that way. But yet, i had no idea I was dreaming.
Well, I got up and saw that it was getting brighter outside. I go back to say goodbye to everyone, to you. I go back to the front door and that's when I make my decision to go back and say how I feel.
I go back and there you are. I can't stop staring at you. Every bite you take, the smile that stretches your cheeks, and the way you laugh when someone else is making a fool of themselves. I walk up to say goodbye to somebody else and look at you before I walk away. You seem so embarassed of me, so ... impatient for me to go away. And I do, walk into my car and shut the door. The last thing I remember is I adjust the rearview mirror and I see me and see how good I looked and I smiled.
I can't even have you in my dreams.
The universe is tapping me on the shoulder and saying, "Hey, uh, not that you'll listen but maybe you should worry about how your future is going to end up." Well, universe, I'm listening and I think I might even agree this time.